Work and School

November 25, 2007 at 6:08 am (blogging, helpful tips, myself & I, rambling, real life, story telling)

I realize that I have neglected to update on my life at school and work since the whole breakup ordeal (which, by the way, I am over as my exboyfriend has shown his true personality colours and they weren’t so pretty).

Work is going good…sort of. Since I started, I had developed a small crush on one of the guys that I work with. He is in the same program as me and actually quite adorable. However, I have recently decided that I don’t have a crush on him. Yes, I find him attractive, but his personality is not all that great. He’s a bit of an arrogant jerk, to say the least, and he gets on my nerves very easily. I dislike people who get on my nerves.

Anyways, my non-crush aside, working has been interesting. I was bit for the first time ever last week, and it hurt a lot. My own fault; I was brushing one of the guys’ teeth and decided that I would be able to clean them better if I parted his lips more. Um, bad idea. Thanks tips. So it was numb and bruised for quite some time; it’s actually still bruised but it is no longer numb. Then today I got pinched.

Oh the rewards! I love it though. I’ve grown attached to all of the guys, even the one that bit me and the one that pinched me. I’ll be sad when I have to say goodbye in April (I am leaving to go work for the recreational group as I can’t afford summer rent on the paycheck I am making now).

But thanks to this group home job, I feel a lot stronger. I feel better about myself because I feel a lot stronger. I’m going to start going to a gym to get in better shape, and I’ll do all those physio exercises I was instructed to do forever ago but never did do. I got busy…what can I say? Although I definitely DO recommend physio to people who just had surgery; and don’t skip out on it like I do. I have a lot more problems now because I didn’t listen.

School is…oh wow. I can’t even think of a word to describe school; probably because it is so late early. I have been putting off a lot of projects to the last moment. Not such a good idea, but it’s difficult for me to focus on them what with the recent events (that I’m now over…except for being mad about). I am so sick of group work, I could rip my hair out and cry. Actually I might still do that, thanks to one of my groups in one of my classes.

We have a presentation this Wednesday and I’m not prepared. Why? Because one of the people in my group decided that we should over complicate a simple presentation on aboriginal traditional medicine by dividing it up into millions of categories and each of us presenting one of them. Ya. I haven’t been able to find a whole heck of a lot on aboriginal ways of dealing with chronic pain through traditional medicines (that was the topic that was “suggested” to me). Not to mention, I truly don’t believe we they should be making it that complicated. The class won’t follow. Our information will be all over the place and screwy. But do people listen to me? Nope. They all think it’s a wonderful idea.

Whatever. I’m so stressed out about school thanks to group work that I am beginning to not care. Finials are in two weeks. Ya, another amazing thing to look forward too.

Anyways, that is how work and school are going. I’m still trucking though, and that is the important thing!


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November 17, 2007 at 2:00 pm (bad things, blogging, for a cause, helpful tips, opinions, rambling, real life, reflecting)

I find it extremely ridiculous that you need a license for everything but having kids. Even if you wanted to adopt a dog from the pound, they would have to check you out to see if you could handle it. How come it isn’t like that when it comes to having kids? Yes I know, you can’t prevent scum from giving birth, but what about doing follow ups to make sure the baby is ok? Hmm? Did the government ever think of that?

It absolutely disgusts me that there are parents out there who “don’t want to handle” their children with disabilities. They ship them off to live in group homes and never visit even though they live quite close. Then there are the people out their who are sorry excuses for parents. One child at one of the group homes was a perfectly “normal” child before her parents cracked her head off the side of the tub when she was two and set her on the bed for hours before deciding to take her to the hospital. Now she can’t walk or talk. It wouldn’t have been this bad if a) her parents had never cracked her head off the tub in the first place and b) if they had taken her to the hospital immediately.

Babies have no perfection grantee. If you don’t think you would be able to love your child, disability and all, before you have it; don’t get pregnant. And if you do happen to get pregnant and give birth to a child with developmental or physical disabilities, the least you could do is give it up for adoption so the child hasย  a chance of finding a loving home, not just a group home. We love our kids at the group home, but it isn’t the same thing as having parents and siblings.

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I am a Person First.

November 5, 2007 at 6:57 pm (blogging, for a cause, helpful tips, myself & I, opinions, rambling, real life, reflecting, resources, story telling, worries/concerns)

We are all guilty of stereotyping someone based on how they dress, look, or act. We label them based on what we see. Most people would describe me as “that girl with the bone thing”.

Since there were so many girls in my class in grade 8, to differentiate between all the other girls who shared the same name as me. “Oh, she’s the one who’s always in the hospital; you know, the gimpy one?” where things that commonly came back to me thanks to word of mouth from my friends.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but that was stereotyping me. At the time, I just felt like crap because that was the label I had earned in middle school, and I knew that it would follow me throughout high school. That’s how everybody would remember me. I once wrote about the things my classmates commented in my yearbooks throughout middle school. Luckily, yearbook comments throughout high school weren’t as “disability oriented” as they were in middle school. I had worked hard to make people know the real me, not just see me as “the girl with a disability”. I worked hard to let my personality and other traits shine through the disability, and it did pay off.

Like I’ve mentioned before, you do need a support group. I believe that you need a support group for everything; as they are the people who will pick you up when you’re down and know you for you. They won’t describe you as “a person with a disability”, but as a person they like.

I have my family and friends to thank for me being successful in pushing my disability to the back burner. By the end of high school, I was able to have people say “Ya, I know her. She’s really nice” instead of “Oh ya, that girl with the disability”. It was empowering.

Unfortunately, it was also short lived. I don’t exactly have a label as “someone with a disability” in college, but I do lack that circle of friends that was my daily support group. Truthfully, it took me a lot of hard work to become comfortable in my high school atmosphere, but high school only lasted 4 years. Before I knew it, it was over and I was back to square one. It took me a year in middle school to make new friends; but likely those people were with me in high school. None of them are with me now, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it takes me a year to make new friends here at college.

At least the college atmosphere doesn’t focus on labeling someone based on race, disability, or gender. Yes, they still do the “oh she’s popular”, orย  “she’s weird” labeling; but it doesn’t focus on my disability (unless I am literally weird because of my disability).

Recently, I found out about a group called People First, an organization formed because some of the people in the communities felt as if they were not considered people first. They felt as if they were talked to, about, and treated according to the disabilities they were labeled with. Their vision is that they wish everybody in the community was treated equally, regardless of mental or medical disability.

I think every community needs a group like this; a group that will educate them on how everybody is equal and we really don’t need labels. What do we even need labels for? Why can’t we just describe people by their positive traits, such as their amazing personality or interesting skills?

I suppose we put labels on people to make things easier. It is easier to label a group of people then to think of them as individuals with different personalities, morals, goals and achievements. But it’s wrong. Who wants to be known as a label? If you have a disability of any sorts, than you probably know what I am talking about. The feeling sucks. All you really want is to be known as you, not as your disability.

So here is an idea for everybody; let’s put people first and labels last.

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Feeling This Exhaustion

October 31, 2007 at 2:30 pm (blogging, helpful tips, myself & I, real life, working, worries/concerns)

This week has been way too busy for me. I didn’t even go to class on Monday because I really needed the rest. Despite that, it didn’t seem to help at all – or maybe it was the fact that I did an overnight sleep Monday at the group home. I don’t sleep well when I am there. Somebody is always up and stomping around, plus the bed is way to uncomfortable. So needless to say on Tuesday I was pooped. I fell asleep in my eleven o’clock lecture. I fell asleep doing homework in the library during my four hour break. I fell asleep on the computer in the lab while checking me email.

Finally, I decided it was time to go home and get some rest. I knew I was very exhausted because I cannot normally sleep sitting up. I fell asleep waiting for my bus, and missed it. I somehow managed to get on the other bus 40 minutes later, and I nearly missed my stop because I fell asleep again.

The second I got in, I went to bed and sleep for two hours. It seriously only felt like a minute. Then my landlord offered to take me grocery shopping, and since I had no food I couldn’t very well refuse. I stocked up on yummy things, and I’m actually going to attempt to eat right. I bought chicken! I’ll be making a chicken and potatoes dinner this week. Plus I got taco fixings for tacos.

I think that if I start eating better and getting more sleep, then I’ll be able to function better. Unfortunately I still haven’t found the time to get my bum to the doctors office about my back. Between school and work and homework, I just don’t have the time. Plus who wants to go to the doctors alone? Not me. I’ve always gone with my parents. Yes, I know, I am an adult now and I should be taking those big steps on my own, but I’m not ready yet!

Anyways, it’s Halloween! The day I eagerly anticipate all year long! I love dressing up and I love candy. I love scary movies and I love scaring people. Unfortunately, I don’t get to do anything for Halloween this year. I was going to dress up to go to work, but a co-worker pointed out that might not be a good idea. Wouldn’t want to scare any residents if they happened to get up in the middle of the night, now would I? Although truthfully, I haven’t done a heck of a lot the last couple of years for Halloween. Walking from house to house was painful, so I stopped doing that. I liked it better when my parents took us and we drove the car from country house to country house, right up to the doors. I never did have to walk several blocks visiting every single house getting tons of candy.

When I have my own house, I plan on making it the creepiest house on the block. I’m hoping that my boyfriend will buy me a huge old Victorian style house ๐Ÿ˜‰ I love Victorian style houses!

Anyways, I should go get some homework finished. I only have a couple of hours before class! Yikes! Happy Halloween everybody!

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Distribute This!

October 25, 2007 at 2:55 pm (appointments, blogging, for a cause, helpful tips, myself & I, opinions, real life, resources, XanGo)

I am now going to actively distribute XanGo, so if you are interested in trying the mircle juice, check out my very own website and contact me regarding it! I’ll set you up! Seriously, even if you are healthy; XanGo can help you stay that way! You’ve got nothing to lose, so try it ๐Ÿ˜‰

Anyways, I have added the link to my website in my blogroll. It’s under “My XanGo”. So go there now!

In completely different news, today I will be visiting my family doctor at the walk in clinic and hopefully I will be getting an x-ray of my back. My back aches have not gone away or improved in the slightest. They seem to have gotten worse. Last night it took me forever to get to sleep because my back was aching no matter which way I was lying down. I suppose I have working so hard to thank for that, but there isn’t much I can do. It is only my first week at my job and they seem pretty happy with me. Each night I have been thanked by the shift head and told I’m doing a great job.

Anyways, So I shall see a doctor, finally, and hopefully sort this mess out. I’ll keep everyone updated on the results of the doctor’s visit and x-ray.

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So True

October 20, 2007 at 12:23 am (blogging, family, for a cause, helpful tips, myself & I, opinions, pictures & videos, rambling, real life, story telling, worries/concerns)

There is a lot of controversy about this video. People are in an outrage because it’s too graphic for the age group it is directed at, which is girls ages 10-12, otherwise known as “tweens”.

The fact of the matter is that kids are acting way to old. Have you seen the stuff in La Senza Girl? Raunchy little shirts that say “caught you looking”, now why on earth would a little girl feel the need to wear something like that? Why are they making clothes like that for young girls? What are we telling them?


My self image isn’t perfect. I am guilty of looking at fashion magazines and critically comparing myself to the girls in them – even though I fully know the photos are airbrushed. Still though, I’ll read those magazines and long to be just like them. Gorgeous, scar free, extra bone free, and thin. Glowing. Gorgeous. Healthy. Perfect. I think my situation was a little harder then most because I wasn’t just average looking, I had a medical disability that made me look different. I have crocked legs and lots of scars. I definitely did not resemble any of those girls in the magazine. Seeing what beauty “should” look like and comparing myself to it only made me even more self conscious and insecure, further away from my goal of becoming confident and strong. For a while, I thought that in order to be confident and strong, you had to look the way the media said was pretty.

Thoughts like these are what causes eating disorders and the need for plastic surgeries. Thoughts like the ones I commonly have can destroy self conscious and make you want to be anybody but yourself. Thoughts like these are damaging. At least I didn’t start thinking that way until my middle teens. But tweens are thinking this way! 10 year old girls who should still be playing with Barbie dolls and having a carefree childhood! Instead, they listen to very sexual music that touches topics even more horrible then that Dove video did. They are acting much older then they should be, they are dressing raunchy and wearing makeup. They are being skanky.

All because it’s encouraged by the media. All because it is what’s available in the stores. All because it supposedly looks great to show off your body to everyone, that’s what the models in those fashion magazines do, isn’t it?

Maybe if the media were to stop telling the world their definition of “true beauty”, girls and women wouldn’t have to have this negative self image. It’s the 21st century, why hasn’t this changed? It’s only gotten worse.

I personally love this video. Yes, I know that Dove is just trying to sell their products in the end, but still. It’s an amazing video. I suggest you talk to your daughters about this; show them the video, and break it down for them. Let them know that they are gorgeous the way they are. Let them know that the fashion industry knows nothing about true beauty. Encourage them to dress tastefully.

I realize that all that I have said is a lot harder to do then I make it seem; after all, I’m not a mother. But I am a daughter. My parent’s have always told me that I’m beautiful the way I am, but they didn’t really break it down as much as it’s needed now in the present today. When I was younger, 10 year old girls weren’t dressing as raunchy and they weren’t anorexic. They were happy. They listened to boy bands and played Barbie dolls.

So please, talk to your daughters. Lets try to silence the media and its warped opinion of what beautiful is.

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Close Call

October 10, 2007 at 2:44 pm (blogging, helpful tips, myself & I, opinions, rambling, real life, reflecting, story telling, worries/concerns)

As I’ve previously mentioned, I recently got a job at a group home. Yesterday, I went to the main office and filled out a heck of a lot of paperwork. I also got to talk to the house manager of the home I will be working in. When she called me a couple weeks ago, she gave me my shifts for practically all of October and November. Unfortunately, I was scheduled to work for the very important Rock Band Blitz fundraiser that I’m helping to plan and run on November 3rd. They had me scheduled to work from 8am-3pm and then a night sleep (1opm-8am). Night sleeps are [from what I’ve heard] really easy. You sleep from 10pm until 6am and get up to help get all the kids ready for their day. Anyways, with those two shifts I definitely wasn’t going to be able to make it to the Rock Band Blitz fundraiser. I’ve been eagerly anticipating this practically all year. I didn’t get to go last year since they held it at a very dingy place, so this was my year to help make it amazing.

Anyways, so I spoke to the house manager and explained why I needed it off. She found someone to cover my night sleep, so I am now able to go to the fundraiser!

I also told her that I had been looking forward to going to a family “get together” on October 27th (my sister is throwing a Halloween party and everybody in our family is invited basically so that wasn’t a lie) and she generously found someone to take both shifts for me so I can now go. The only downer part is I work at 8am on the 28th – so I won’t get to stay for a long time. I will need my sleep. Oh well. At least I will get to show off my super awesome costume!

I still haven’t talked to the house manager about the amount of shifts I have a feeling they will schedule me for. I did say during the mock shift that I knew I was responsible for balancing schoolwork with my shifts – but it completely slipped my mind that I would have to balance schoolwork, shifts, and health concerns. Ok, well truthfully I did think about it but I didn’t tell her at the time because I was worried she wouldn’t hire me. Why would you hire someone who couldn’t work a million shifts in a week and who may have some health problems and end up calling in sick a couple times?

I will probably end up making myself sick as I worry about getting sick. I don’t want to ruin this opportunity. I have a feeling I am going to love the job and the people there…it’s just the whole health thing. My mom voiced her concerns the other day that she was worried I would be taking on too much, and that I would end up really sick from burning out. Needless to say, it has happened before.

Several times. Too many to count.

I ended up missing so much school because I was too sick and sore to even get out of bed. She’s afraid that will happen again. I suppose it is likely, but I don’t like that thought. I know I need to take it slow, but I don’t want to lose my job. I lost my job at Wendy’s because I was taking it slow – too slow for them.

How pathetic is it that I am worrying about loosing my job due to a medical problem? The house manager does know that I have this problem, but I wasn’t exactly 100% honest when I said I could still do all that they asked of me. I wasn’t counting on them asking me to do so many shifts. I was under the impression it was a less then 15 hours a week job.

I suppose I will just have to wait and see how things go. Maybe I am worrying about nothing; perhaps I won’t find the shifts physically demanding at all. After all, I am required to do less then I did at my summer student job during the summer and I didn’t really find that physically demanding (except for the camping weekends).

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Sometimes, Skipping Class Is Healthy

October 2, 2007 at 7:50 pm (blogging, helpful tips, myself & I, rambling, real life, reflecting, story telling)

I think we all need to play hokey occasionally, just to stay sane. There are so many demands to be met in one day that it can be overwhelming – or at least that’s how I’m feeling, so I decided not to go to my 4pm class. I feel guilty about it, but I know that I could use the time to catch up on some much needed sleep and get started on some assignments that are due this week.

I have a feeling that the group work will be the death of me. In all seven courses, I have a huge group presentation to do. In Human Growth and Development, I took on the role as the contact person. I’m not so good with public speaking, and I wanted to take more of a back seat role. However, I’m finding it very difficult to get a hold of one group member; she has yet to email me back about the meeting dates that I asked everyone to give their opinions on. Luckily, we don’t run a seminar until week 14 and it is only week 5, but I was hoping to have everything organized and out of the way.

For Introduction to Psychology, I have to read and answer questions to a complicated research paper. Tomorrow morning I will meet with my group to go over the answers to the research paper. I haven’t even read the research paper yet; I have been so busy with other things.

This week I have to do a skill assessment with my Helping Relationships group on our counseling skills. I feel as if mine still need improvement, and we go on Thursday. Yikes.

I also have a paper due in both Introduction to Social Services and Community Development; Aboriginal Emphasis, which I have yet to start.

Clearly, I could use this time to catch up. It is terrible that I am already in over my head. I also have not been getting a lot of sleep lately. I’ve been stressed out and worrying about things I shouldn’t be.

So lesson of the day; skip school/work to catch up on things (like sleeping, or in my case; more work).

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The Benefits of XanGo

September 30, 2007 at 3:35 pm (blogging, helpful tips, myself & I, opinions, real life, XanGo)

XanGo is an all natural fruit juice that helps with more then 40 health issues. The main fruit used in the juice, Mangosteen, contains more then 40 xanthones. Xanthones are powerful antioxidants that provide your body with health enhancing benefits. Unlike most health juices, you can drink XanGo if you are pregnant, and you can start drinking XanG at a young age as well. You can also take it with prescribed medications. There really are no health risks like a lot of the health juices out there, so it’s worth a try. That was my outlook. It won’t harm me and could quite possibly help me out, so I went for it.

Here are a few of the benefits it lists in the pamphlet that I have found it helps with:

  • Antibotic. It helped modulate bacterial infections, which are always a risk after having a surgery.
  • Helps with anxiety. I found that when I took it everyday, my anxiety level went way down. I stress less about things ๐Ÿ™‚
  • Anti-depressant effect.Xango juice makes you feel happy. My boyfriend pointed out that every time I took my Xango I seemed to be a lot happier. It lifted my spirits, so to speak!
  • Periodontal (supports gum health). My gums are sensitive, and they bleed easily. Since I have been taking Xango, I’ve noticed less “pink in the sink”.
  • Migraines.Now I don’t get migraines, but sometimes I do get really bad headaches. Xango helps dull the throbbing pain, and makes it go away faster then waiting it out.
  • Energizer.Yup, Xango is definitely an energy booster. That’s why my mom always reminds me to take it if I am dragging.
  • Anti-inflammatory.With my disorder, my joints become inflamed easily. Xango helped minimize it and when I take it when I’m supposed to, this rarely happens to me. Unless I fall down the stairs or something. Than I will be inflamed for a little while, but Xango will help the inflammation go down faster.
  • Analgestic (may reduce pain). For me, it definitely has. I do still feel some pain, but not as much as I normally do.
  • Anti-pyretic (may lower fever). I haven’t even gotten a fever since I’ve been on Xango! I normally catch everything too.
  • Antiviral.Oh man, I swear I used to get a cold just about every other week! Since I’ve been on Xango, I’ve had way less colds, and if I do get them, I get better faster.
  • Immune modulator. Maybe I get fevers and colds less because Xango is said to help improve immune response, and my immune response since on Xango has stepped way up.
  • Irritable bowel. It reduces bowel inflammation, so I can have more spicy foods! Which is good, because my boyfriend loves spicy foods and always makes me eat spicy foods!
  • It tastes good! It really does! I drink it and I am a very picky person!

There are several other benefits of taking XanGo, but the ones I listed above are what I feel the Mangosteen juice has helped me with. Remember, everybody won’t respond to it the same way; some times it takes longer for the juice to kick in, which is why they recommend The 90 Day Mangosteen Juice Trial. I know several people who tried it for the 90 days, didn’t notice any improvements so they got off only to notice the difference they felt after not taking it.

Truthfully, it is a little bit expensive but look at it this way: so are all those different medications you take for different symptoms of things. Cold medicine, fever medicine, pain medicine, migraine medicine. It all adds up. So why not try XanGo? What harm can it do? Take The 90 Day Mangosteen Juice Trial and see if you notice a difference; whether you are on it or off it. For more information, go to

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Fresh to Order; my fast food experiences

September 25, 2007 at 1:53 pm (helpful tips, myself & I, opinions, rambling, real life, reflecting, story telling)

I encountered all types of people when I was working at local fast food restaurants. Impatient people, desperate for their double bacon cheeseburger and unable to offer a smile or thanks when being served. All they do is complain about the line up, about how slow you are working, and about how it’s all your fault the prices of greasy, fattening food went up.

Every single day that I worked in fast food, I happened to have one customer who was completely rude, tactless, and idiotic. These people seriously did not help the fact that those 4 hour shifts killed my body. I cannot stand for long periods of time, but I pushed myself to when I worked in the fast food industries. My managers were not as understanding as they appeared to be when I was first hired, and it seemed like every time I requested a quick break to sit down for a few minutes, they got mad. They were annoyed with me. Customers were annoyed with me because I wasn’t able to work as quickly as they would have liked.

Needless to say, I have always had difficulty finding a job that I could physically and emotionally do. Not a whole heck of a lot of places hire teenagers, so fast food was my only options – especially considering I lived out in the middle of nowhere with no license and the nearest options where only fast food. My parent’s didn’t have the time to drive us further and provide more choices.

In the fast food places I have worked at, it seemed like nobody had the patience to deal with a teen and her medical disability. My co-workers thought I was just being lazy and wanting attention, and sadly enough several of my managers thought this too. I had little respect there, and was a slight mockery. I remember one instance when I fell down the really greasy stairs that lead up to the staff lunch room, several of my co-workers witnessed it and all they could do was laugh. My younger sister had to help regain footing as I had twisted my ankle. I ended up going home because my ankle hurt so badly. All the managers were concerned about was whether or not they had to write an incident report.

My immune system is weaker then most (probably due to the fact that I don’t get nearly as much exercise as I should), so I caught literally everything that floated around that place. If costumers came in with a cold, the next week I would come in with a cold. I also managed to get mono (don’t ask me how, I’m not sure; all I know is my boyfriend was free of it and I don’t kiss anybody else!). Every single time I became sick, it took a while to recover. Sometimes, I had to call in because you shouldn’t work with a contagious virus – you contaminate everything you touch. That’s one of the first things you see in the training videos when they hire you. But this seriously irritated my managers.

My inability to stand for the solid 4 hours and eventually, my inability to complete shifts was noted by everyone. I was removed from the schedule and the manager who hired me asked me if I was even able to continue. She was a little nicer than everyone else about it, and offered to get me a orthopedic mat to stand on during my shifts. By this point, I was sick of the attitudes I was getting from my co-workers and other managers. I was sick of my legs hurting unbearably after every shift. I would go straight home after working 4 hours and sleep for 7. Clearly, this job wasn’t agreeing with me…so I was “quired”. I say “quired” instead of “fired” or “quitting” because it was a mutual agreement; and they had already taken me off of the schedule.

My word of advice to every teen out their with a medical disability looking for work; try fast food. If it works for you, that’s awesome. It didn’t work for me. I had to wait to find a less physically demanding job with a more understanding supervisor and slightly more understanding co-workers. If you find fast food doesn’t work for you (as it didn’t with me), than start looking for other options; such as an office position somewhere. Put those computer skills to good use!

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