Trouble Sleeping

April 30, 2008 at 4:40 am (Uncategorized)

I can’t get to sleep, so here I sit at the computer blogging and catching up in other blogger’s lives (since I haven’t really had the time or stamina to do that – sorry guys!). I’ve been having trouble sleeping for the past little while, and I do have a few ideas on why this may be. I’m no sleep doctor though, so I can’t say for sure what’s going on. It’s getting damper out, and as it gets damper it still gets cold at night. Therefore my bones are aching quite a bit. I don’t take anything for pain (usually) as Tylenol and Advil don’t help, so usually I just grin and bear it. Anyways, because of the added aches and pains I can’t get comfortable enough to fall asleep. I’m pretty sure I’m missing reaching the REM stage of sleep most nights, because I always feel so exhausted. Especially on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s…when I have drivers ed. I’ve fallen asleep in every class so far, and it takes sheer willpower just to force myself to stay awake (and I haven’t really been successful).

I also blame my brain for not being able to shut down. I can’t turn this damn thing off! Thoughts and concerns constantly swirl around up there, and I worry about every little thing in my day to day life while I’m laying in bed (just like Brian Wilson did) trying to fall asleep. Money concerns, school concerns, sibling concerns, friend concerns, health concerns…oh the list is a mile long. I’d have to say those are the top 5 though.

My little sister has moved back in (for now). She had been living with her boyfriend since like December, and they are rocky now so here she is back home. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my little sister…but I’m frustrated with the fact that I have no idea how to help her. She’s going through a rough time and I don’t know what to say or do to help out. Doors were slamming within moments of her walking in the house. I have a feeling that energy levels will be high, and not in a good way. This makes me feel…I don’t know, bummed out. I’m glad she’s home, I just wish she’d calm down a bit. Tonight was far too intense for my nerves…it’s been pretty quiet here since December with basically just me home.

And I’m nervous about this summer too, like super nervous. I want the rec group job…but at the same time I don’t know because they really didn’t show a heck of a lot of empathy towards my medical situation. I felt guilty for not going to camp set ups and lifting heavy objects and what not, and I just know that this year I’ll definitely push myself even further then I did last summer (and I pushed myself pretty far…trust me).

So ya, those are just some of the worries/concerns on my mind. I’m sorry it’s all scattered and what not, but I’m actually starting to feel tired. Hopefully I can fall asleep now that I’ve unloaded a bit off my plate!



  1. Connie said,

    Those are a lot of worries. No reason you can’t sleep. Maybe blogging about them will help a bit. (No I’m not pushing you to blog again!)

    I’m sad to read about the possibility of you not getting your camping job this summer. It sounds like you’ve been a real asset to the whole experience. Your employer has to know about your medical condition so why are they picking on you now? I hate when this kind of thing happens.

    I was supposed to be calming you down. Now look what I did. Sorry 😉

  2. Julia said,

    Hi, I don’t speak english so excuses about the grammar. Im a 23 year old woman, and I also have MHE but in a much lower level, only 3 surgeries so far, the last one in september’ 2007, although Im now waiting for a couple more. I loved reading your blog, I think I read it almost all, it made me remember a lot of things I lived during my highschool years and even now that I’m “almost” an adult. I think is great that someone openly speaks about it (I never dared to), usually when people talk about this touches the issues that kids are concerned about, but not older people with MHE. Maybe in that way more people can understand many things they wonder about me: why Im so little, why my toes are so weird, why I can’t stay in the same position for a long time, why I don’t practice any sport and so on so thanks for doing it and if you can, keep writting

  3. Bennie said,

    I’m pushing you to blog more! I think writing things out helps me think a bit more deeply about issues in my life. And I certainly appreciate the support that comes from folks like you.

    By the way, I haven’t forgotten about your meme. I’m still working on it. It’s tough coming up with stuff that I haven’t revealed before!

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