What’s wrong with that girl’s arm?

January 14, 2008 at 8:36 pm (blogging, pictures & videos, rambling, real life, reflecting, story telling, these scars)



When you first saw this picture, what did you think? That the people in it are all having fun? Or do you zero in on one detail that isn’t exactly…normal? Did you focus on that girl’s arm and wonder what the hell happened to it? If so, why did you see that and only that?

That girl in the picture is me, this past weekend at my friends house. We were all having a blast and honestly I didn’t even feel uncomfortable wearing the tube top I was wearing. Then my friend put the pictures up on Facebook, and people I didn’t even know started commenting asking “what’s wrong with that girl’s arm?” as if it was the most important thing ever.

I’m sure these people meant no harm and they were simply curious, but sometimes curiousity can come off as rude and out of line. Leaving comments like that on a picture about someone will single them out and make them feel like a freak, like I feel right now. I’m just wondering why it’s so important…why whenever something isn’t normal about someone, everyone else rushes to point it out.

I’ve faced this kind of thing ever since I can remember; people asking what’s wrong with a certain part of my body that isn’t like them. Kids will be kids, I understand that, but I think by now people should know what tact is. One would think that young adults would think before they said something.

I honestly don’t think it’s anybody’s business why my arm is “different” and I find it rude when someone I don’t even know asks me whats wrong with me. I don’t mind when it’s a friend or someone well on the way to being a friend, but a complete stranger has no right to demand answers of me. My scars are an indepth story that I dislike talking about unless I know the person, it makes me uncomfortable. My medical history is not something I wish to talk about to complete strangers, and I hate feeling obligated to answer someone when they ask.

If I have kids, I’ll make sure to teach them that it’s rude to ask strangers personal questions – even if it’s about a scar they got. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not a conversation starter – it’s a conversation killer. It’s not a really good feeling when you dress up and do your hair and makeup and the first thing people notice about you is not that you look nice, but that your arm has a gigantic, ugly scar on it.



  1. bananatree said,

    It’s strange, when you move from a nice private citizen, to a public spectacle (facebook pictures or whatever), people feel differently about your personal identity and personal privacy. It’s the double edged blade of the internet I guess.

    I personally thought the thing that was “wrong” with your arm was the hand, I was more shocked by a hidden hand than the scar.

  2. Melissa Walker said,

    Great post. I bet a lot of people do things like that without thinking, so it’s good to encourage everyone to be more conscientious.

  3. Bennie said,

    Actually I wouldn’t have even noticed the scar had you titled the post differently. I probably would’ve asked why isn’t that pretty girl smiling?

  4. glittamouse said,

    Yeah, also took me few moments to work out that the scar was what you were referring to.
    The trouble with the internet is that it’s so much easier for people to be thoughtless and say hurtful things coz they don’t have to look you in the eye while they’re saying it, and don’t see your reaction straight away.
    Anyway, scars make a person more interesting – there is always a story behind them.

  5. Maxwell Brittany III said,

    Seriously though, what’s wrong with your arm?

  6. Rainbowgirl said,

    Actually, I first thought;
    “Hey that guy kinda looks like Prince William.”
    Then I thought;
    “Whats wrong with who’s arm?!”
    Then I read on, and I was like, “Scar, what scar?”

    It actually took me a little while to find it, and I wouldn’t have noticed it if hadn’t have been pointed out. But hey, that may just be my lack of observantness (is that a word?)

    (Or observational skills- that sounds better lol)

    People use the Internet as a cover, they feel its alright to be thoughtless. They probably don’t even think about the person on the recieveing end of the hurtful comment. It’s wrong, but I guess the Internet makes it easier for people to be idiots. 😦

    Scars show the past is real. They’re interesting. 🙂

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