Fresh like Spring

December 10, 2007 at 4:12 pm (blogging, myself & I, opinions, pictures & videos, rambling, real life)

Lately I have been so wrapped up in life and all of the going ons. Winter is always the hardest session on a person like me; and getting up in the morning is a struggle normally. It’s an extra struggle with the added emotional problems of loosing a friend and the other millions of things that have happened to me.

But I can honestly say now that I am no longer pining over my ex-boyfriend, Neil. In fact I am very much over him. I thank him for opening my eyes to the real person he was. Unfortunately; I only tend to see the good in people. This is bad for me because I often get hurt because I refuse to see the truth. The truth about Neil is that he was only concerned about himself. In the end, it was all about him and what he wanted and what made him happy.

I find it slightly amusing that I would think one moment to never get over him; that my life could not go on without him in it. But I was deeply surprised to find that my life did indeed go on. I started to smile more because I realized that I wasn’t happy with him anyway. When my sister, Shannon, told me that I was lucky that I would get to experience that “new relationship” feeling, I didn’t believe her. I didn’t think I could ever move on. But she was right, and move on I did.

My plan was to be single for a while…but that didn’t last. I didn’t indeed to start dating so quickly; I honestly did want to play the field for a bit and just focus on myself. Then I started talking to Blake. I went to high school with him, and he’s a pretty good guy. We talked for hours on the phone, and when we finally hung out and he asked me out I found no reason to say no. I can still be myself if I’m dating someone; I can still work on all the stuff I wanted to work on if I’m in a relationship. I’ve learned a lesson from my last relationship; and thats to never put myself and my wants on the side burner to please someone else. I will do what I want to do, when I want to do it (within reason of course).

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So from now on I will do what I fell is necessary for my own happiness. Whatever makes me happy, I’ll do it. I will put myself first – not because I am selfish, but because I don’t do so often enough. I know my sisters (if they read this) would find that difficult to believe but it is true; I often put my own feelings, thoughts, and desires aside to please other people. I often go out of my way to make those around me happy, even when I’m not feeling happy.

If I want to cry, I will cry. If I want to skip class and sleep in, I will skip class and sleep in.

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6 Comments

  1. Avitable said,

    Is that the new boy? Cool photo!

  2. Bennie said,

    I have to agree. Tell us about the photo! Very artistic!

  3. JC said,

    Yep, this is the new boy. And it was his idea to take this picture…if you’ve seen “The Notebook”, it’s from the kiss in the rain; when she jumps in his arms. Only the rain and outdoors is missing. It is very artistic, I love photos!

  4. Connie said,

    How hot…I want to be young again!

  5. JC said,

    You are always as young as you feel!

    Which technically means that I’m not young at all…haha 🙂

  6. Up to the ears with snow! « A Medical Mystery said,

    […] as for that new boy, I think I will be calling things off…since I’m moving and everything. Not to mention, […]

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