When You Fall Down…

November 7, 2007 at 3:20 am (bad things, blogging, myself & I, rambling, real life, reflecting, worries/concerns)

These past 48 hours haven’t been good ones for me.

That very special someone in my life no longer wants to be a part of it. My boyfriend of a year and 3 months broke up with me last night, or early this morning I should say. The reasons I have discussed so many times I just don’t want to think about it anymore. Bottom line is he wasn’t happy, and as much as I don’t want to admit it, neither was I.

For some time, I’ve been feeling super insecure in our relationship. Ever since I moved, I felt as if he didn’t want to give the effort that is involved in keeping a long distance relationship going. I felt as if there was a barrier between us and all conversation couldn’t be heard. Communication signals were down.

I hurt right now, really bad. Getting out of bed this morning was so difficult. Obviously, he has been such a major positive part of my life for so long now that it’s difficult to picture it without him.

It isn’t pretty out there. It’s cold and dark and alone.

I thought I had found my Prince Charming, the one who I would be with forever. But I guess I was wrong. Now I’m working on moving on. And it will take time.

This is a new, fresh scar that runs deeper then any one I have ever had before. It isn’t a result of a physical thing, such as surgery, but it is a result of a broken heart. Hopefully this scar would get kioloids.

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2 Comments

  1. Connie said,

    I’m so very sorry. Cyber ((((HUGS)))) from your friend. I’m here if you want to “chat”.

  2. Niffer said,

    I’m sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend breaking up. When I first moved away from home, I was dating a guy seriously and had been for 2 years. It’s incredibly tough to go into a long distance relationship after being so accustomed to seeing each other all the time. It’s no wonder they rarely work out.

    However, on a brighter note… a couple years later I started dating someone (ironically it started out long distance) and he ended up being so much better for me. As for the distance, I learned that it’s SOOOO much easier to be in a long distance relationship from the beginning, when you’re not used to seeing each other all the time anyway.

    Good luck and I’m sure you’ll find someone better and you’ll look back on this guy and know that this was a good thing. It just sucks that it hurts so much in the mean-time.

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